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September 16, 2009
A Year Later
I was standing in the dark in my gym shorts and t shirt in Rock Creek Park in Washington DC this morning at 5:45 am, ready to begin the hour long Sarge US Army style workout with 45 other middle-aged (lunatic) men and women. As I gazed up at the sliver of a moon and the stars, I recalled a very different setting a year ago as I prepared myself for prostate cancer surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital. Walking down the hall to the operating room, I looked longingly out the window at the end of the hallway and fantasized that I flew away, miraculously cancer-free. Having indulged my imagination, I lay on the operating table, stuck out my left arm for the drip and went to sleep, awaking fully ten hours later. My wife and the surgeon told me that the operation had been a success, the cancer was contained in the prostate and I could get on with my life. Here is what I have learned in the course of the past year:
- Take a Real Break—Maybe I was lucky that the world was in such chaos a year ago with the AIG bailout and Lehman going bankrupt. Don’t work for the two weeks after surgery. You have a catheter. You are uncomfortable. You are on drugs to dull the pain so your judgment is in question. Read books, watch DVDs, take naps when the spirit moves you. When you go back to your job, start by going for half days, then going home for a nap. You will be back to full speed more quickly if you follow this approach.
- Slow and Steady—The only exercise allowed in the three months post-surgery was walking. So like Forrest Gump, I started walking and just kept walking. In the beginning it was around the block, then a half mile, then by the end of the three months, six mile walks at a decent pace. I was giddy at the prospect of playing tennis again come December, played for six consecutive days and developed severe tennis elbow, taking me out another two months. Some lessons are hard to absorb for those who are naturally impatient and hyper-active.
- There Will Be Frustrating Moments—Side effects of the surgery fade gradually. You quickly find out that downing two beers, then trying to walk home with full bladder is a fraught experience. You will put pressure on yourself to recover more quickly than the average patient, to perform in all aspects of your life. Forget it—consider this time as spring training, when you work out the kinks in your batting swing.
- Change Your Life But Only If You Want To—I have opted out of certain dinners and resigned from non-profit boards that no longer excite me. I still love long bike rides, body-surfing in the Atlantic Ocean, playing tennis, reading history books, hanging out with my kids (if they will have me) and working in PR.
- Give Back by Being Available—I got my best information before my surgery from those who had been through the process. I have spent hours on the phone with men referred to me by my surgeon or friends evaluating their options, culminating in a Wall Street Journal story which recounted my own search for best treatment option.
- Now Get Back to Work—I have a giant poster signed by people in the Edelman Washington office. My favorite quote is from Rob Rehg, who runs the unit. “Get back to work. We need you.” This pithy phrase captures perfectly my approach. You get knocked on your rear end and you have two choices; for me there was only one, get up and get going. You have to overcome your fear post-surgery. My big moment was the successful delivery of the Grunig lecture at the University of Maryland in mid-October.
- Family, Friends and Co-Workers Are Stakeholders—Keep them informed. Tell them how you feel. They will be scared to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing. Invite them over for a visit, go for a walk, show that their concerns are more imagined than real. My favorite gift was three small basketballs from my friend George Hornig. I had each visitor in the early days sign them so I could remember their kindness forever. Here is a picture (below).
Posted by Edelman at September 16, 2009 11:42 AM |
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