I am reeling from the massacre of Jews celebrating the first night of Hannukah on Bondi Beach in Sydney and the murder of two students at Brown University over the weekend. In this context, I am trying to find constructive ways forward. One great idea is Disagree Better, a program created by Governor Spencer Cox of Utah when he was running the National Governors Association last year. I heard Governor Cox and Governor Jared Polis of Colorado, one a Republican, the other a Democrat, recently at the Ad Council board of directors meeting in New York City.
Here are the principles of the program:
- Disagree Better by How You Think—Avoid assumptions about the other side. Examine the “why” behind beliefs including your own. Consider that you might be wrong. Most importantly, your opinions are what you think, not who you are.
- Disagree Better by How You Listen—Listen to understand, not just to reply and win. Commit to listen more than you speak. Do not interrupt. Be aware of your own facial or body language.
- Disagree Better by How You Speak—Avoid name-calling or labels. Explain your views in positive, not negative, language. Keep your voice calm. Know how to step back respectfully if the conversation is going off track.
- Disagree Better by What You Do—Invite someone you disagree with for lunch. Attend a cultural or religious event outside of your own faith. Avoid posting inflammatory content. Help a neighbor regardless of views (special call-out to the fruit vendor in Sydney who tackled the shooter and prevented more deaths…a true hero)
Governor Cox was eloquent in explaining the program as fighting back against “conflict entrepreneurs” who use language to get attention. “There is more commonality than publicly believed. The perceived gap between us is larger than the actual gap. You cannot let politics destroy friendships or family. There is an ethical aspect to the program. We need to ask each other why you feel this way about an issue, whether abortion, guns, voting rights or Gaza. We need to prevent polarization, to find common ground through healthy conflict.”
I spoke at length with Marianne Viray, who runs Disagree Better. She has organized cross-partisan governors, U.S. Senators, and U.S. Representatives appearing in ads that will run in public service time in local markets. She co-sponsored an event with Governor Cox and Governor Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania just last week at the Washington National Cathedral. It was moderated by Today Show host Savannah Guthrie and was covered by NBC, CNN, The Washington Post, Politico, and other outlets. She went on to say that Disagree Better has done almost nothing in the corporate sector–yet; “we should feature CEOs in upcoming PSAs because there is a real economic cost to incivility in the U.S., from absenteeism to lack of productivity.”
I love this assessment of the mission of Disagree Better from board member and constitutional scholar Yuval Levin, writing in The Free Press. “When we say we are divided, we often mean that we disagree too much and have too little in common. In reality, Americans don’t disagree nearly enough. The common misimpression is that disagreement is a mark of civic failure and that the very existence of people who don’t share our goals and priorities is a problem to be solved…Social media, polarized political press, the one-party university, the one-party church and increasingly performative political culture are all grounded in that misimpression. They are built to let us avoid exposure to conflicting views…Our digital partisan cocoons facilitate division.”
The 2026 Edelman Trust Barometer will document a massive level of division in society, from mass-class divide to age divide to nationalism. We must find a way to believe in the future, to see that our families will be better off with technological change, scientific advances and social mobility premised on opportunity. This disintegration of common purpose puts communications into the central role of providing quality information that enables proper decisions and a right to improvement with effort.
Richard Edelman is CEO.
